"Good is good and...

...bad is bad."

Good: Thanksgiving
Bad: Mom having the stomach flu on Thanksgiving
Good: Knowing that I can singlehandedly prepare a full Thanksgiving meal without my mom
Bad: Having to singlehandedly prepare a full Thanksgiving meal without my mom
Good: Hanging out with my little cousins
Bad: Having a sore arm from holding heavy babies all day
Good: Knowing that I graduate from college in less than 2 weeks
Bad: Knowing that I will have a broken toe when I go through the ceremony


**Disclaimer** Gross picture to follow...if feet gross you out scroll down farther.

It is the 4th toe--in case you can't tell.

Yup, that's right. I broke my toe this weekend (at least I assume it is broken but I am not going to the doctor to have them tell me "Hey, it's broken...there's nothing we can do about that."). I stubbed my toe on a bed. This is ironic because stubbing my toes has always freaked me out and I have always been afraid of hurting my toes. I have combined both of them now...ugh. It hurts to wear tennis shoes so I don't know how I am going to wear "teacher shoes."

Speaking of teacher shoes--to those of you who are reading this: you rock. I was (obviously) having a string of bad days. It is great to know that you are all behind me and supportive of me. It is great to know that I have a support system when things go awry. BUT things are much better now and I get to start dropping of some of my class load at the end of this week and that will make my life <---this---> much better. And besides, I AM GRADUATING! It finally hit me this weekend and, even though I am going directly to grad school, I am still getting a degree. AND I got into grad school--they are waiving the interview process for me because I had a couple people put in good words for me. They are making a special exception for me--this rocks!

Wow...I wasn't as excited about all these things until writing this. I am pumped. Now I can start the cleaning process for the party...and ya'll should come. As soon as T and I start planning it. Hopefully I can walk and not hobble by that point.

"Hold my hand...

'cause I wanna [do] the best that, the best that I can."

First parent-teacher conferences tomorrow. This has seriously been the week from hell. From a student crying 2 days in a row in class, to my car dying on one of the busiest streets in town, to me near tears at school in a meeting, to being told that if I keep being the way I am naturally I will never be a teacher, to dealing with agents on a daily basis, to forgetting that I have a huge event next week, to flipping out on one of my best friends after he had done something REALLY nice without me knowing he'd done it, to putting on a crap-tacular event...whew, I'll quit...it has been a long week. That and I have a 75+ page project due next Tuesday that I was supposed to have time to get done while teching 125+ kids each day. Riiiiiight. I'll get right on that.

I have not cried this much in a very long time. Luckily I have people to keep me grounded and who can keep me going even when there is nothing I want to do more than curl up and cry while easing the pain with an alcoholic beverage or 5.

I am beyond stressed and have gone over the "stressed precipice." You know how when you are past the point of tired and can do nothing but be hyper? I have reached that stress-wise and have just given up on everything and have resigned myself to failure in all facets of life. I know I will get chewed out by crabby parents tomorrow, I know that my friends are disappointed in me, I know that my supervisors expect more of me, I know my family wants to hear from me, I know my students deserve more of me. But I can't. I just don't know anymore.

Time for bed.
*This has not been a pity-party...I just needed to get this out somewhere and I didn't have the energy to remove the computer from my lap, remove myself from the futon, find my journal, and write 'til my hand hurt. This sufficed (was sufficient? what-ev).