"Hold my hand...

'cause I wanna [do] the best that, the best that I can."

First parent-teacher conferences tomorrow. This has seriously been the week from hell. From a student crying 2 days in a row in class, to my car dying on one of the busiest streets in town, to me near tears at school in a meeting, to being told that if I keep being the way I am naturally I will never be a teacher, to dealing with agents on a daily basis, to forgetting that I have a huge event next week, to flipping out on one of my best friends after he had done something REALLY nice without me knowing he'd done it, to putting on a crap-tacular event...whew, I'll quit...it has been a long week. That and I have a 75+ page project due next Tuesday that I was supposed to have time to get done while teching 125+ kids each day. Riiiiiight. I'll get right on that.

I have not cried this much in a very long time. Luckily I have people to keep me grounded and who can keep me going even when there is nothing I want to do more than curl up and cry while easing the pain with an alcoholic beverage or 5.

I am beyond stressed and have gone over the "stressed precipice." You know how when you are past the point of tired and can do nothing but be hyper? I have reached that stress-wise and have just given up on everything and have resigned myself to failure in all facets of life. I know I will get chewed out by crabby parents tomorrow, I know that my friends are disappointed in me, I know that my supervisors expect more of me, I know my family wants to hear from me, I know my students deserve more of me. But I can't. I just don't know anymore.

Time for bed.
*This has not been a pity-party...I just needed to get this out somewhere and I didn't have the energy to remove the computer from my lap, remove myself from the futon, find my journal, and write 'til my hand hurt. This sufficed (was sufficient? what-ev).