"I don't care too much for money...

...money can't buy me love."**

I would like to preface this post with the fact that I am not, by any means, a feminist. To be honest, I like the idea of having males around and have no problem with asking my boyfriend to change the oil in my Blazer or help install my air conditioner, and I don't mind doing his laundry if I am there doing my own laundry. Still, I like to think of myself as relatively self-sufficient and successful and like the fact that I have a great job that (for my first job out of college) pays fairly well. All of this taken together should point to the fact that I shouldn't be bothered by what I am currently bothered by.

My boyfriend just bought a new pickup. Why does this bother me? Because he just bought it. He decided on Saturday that he wanted a new pickup, called the guy he was going to get it from on Monday and said he wanted it, and wrote a check that day. Didn't take out a loan, didn't check his finances, didn't even sell his old pickup to cover costs. Just bought it.

Now, don't get me wrong. I like knowing that he has money enough to cover things like that; hving his own business definitely helps--I've seen the paperwork from said business and I know how much he charges and brings in at a time. But I am struggling with the fact that he is so much better off than I am financially. Not that I am not financially sound, but he is leaps and bounds ahead of where I am. Granted, a lot of his money is tied to the business, but he has sole say of what money goes from the business to his bank account, so they are one in the same.

Is it normal to be uneasy about being with someone who has more money than you?

**Editor's note: Despite the presence of the l-word in the title, the bf and I haven't not exchanged "I love yous." We currently "like eachother more than anyone else in the world." And yup, that's a direct quote.

"Just a small town girl...

...living in a lonely world."

Okay, I'll admit it. I really do love living in small-town Western South Dakota. I love the laidback nature of everything, I love knowing most of the people in town, and I love that everyone gets excited about the one social event that happens every week (yup, one...either you go or you don't, but if you don't you are screwed until next week's social event). And, I used to love knowing all the little tidbits of gossip that spread like the wildfires that are sure to happen later this summer due to the lack of moisture.

Until I became one of those tidbits. First of all, it is tough to be single in a small town. First of all, almost everyone is in a relationship. Second, since everyone is paired up it is hard to find anyone to even be in a relationship with. Third, as soon as you find someone, EVERYONE knows. Sometimes even before you do.

Enter my situation. For the past few months, it seems like I have been dating my small town. No, not like I have been seeing a few eligible bachelors from time to time. Rather, it is like I am being interrogated, paraded around, and pushed in different directions towards different guys. It is such a weird feeling. And, the nice young man who I am being pushed toward didn't know much of this was going on until a few weeks ago. I feel a bit like I am entering into an arranged marriage (actually, there are people planning our wedding already, but that is a different story completely...).

To make it even odder, people don't just "see" eachother here. They date. And not "go out on dates to see if there is a possibility of a relationship;" they are instantly in a relationship and are "boyfriend and girlfriend" almost as soon as they start talking to one another. Nothing like skipping all the pre-relationship stuff I guess.

So, here I sit, on a Sunday (at work no less, but that is part of the job I've found) knowing that people are asking questions, placing bets, and saying the ever present "they are such a cute couple" (heard that one a few times...or a million) even though I am not completely sure that I am half of the "couple" of whom they speak.

Small towns amaze me. And, despite the issues that arise, I wouldn't trade 'em. At least for now.

"They say its your...

...birthday"

I don't want to be one of those people who celebrates her pet's birthday, but it's his first one, so I am a little excited. Henry and I have been together for 7 months and he has made my time in Kadoka much more interesting. He keeps me company and keeps me on my toes.

And, in case you are wondering, maturity does not come with calendar age...just this morning Hank chewed up my Blackberry holster and my sunglasses. Just when I thought things were getting better, he reminds me that puppy-hood lasts a while. Dangit.

However, despite my utter frustration (and fears that my phone will now start dialing random people since it isn't holstered), I still like the little guy.

"What'cha gonna do...

...what'cha gonna do when they come for you. Bad boys, bad boys."

Sometimes I lament working in the basement of the courthouse. I have no real windows to speak of, few people come down here, and it is almost always cold. However, there are days that I truly do enjoy it down here, if even for a brief moment. Today, I was offered a glimpse into why I like the basement on occassion.

The reason: I work across from the Sheriff's Department. For the 1st six months of this job, this meant nothing as the sheriff was never in nor was the deputy and I never saw the city cop. However, we got a new sheriff and deputy and they are in the office now. Bonus number 1: the deputy is kinda cute (but married with kids). Bonus number 2: the deputy's kids come in sometimes and I entertain them with Play-doh and K'nex. Bonus number 3: the sheriff and deputy spend time at the office, so I actually get company on occassion--this is a neat concept to me. And this bonus (the 3rd one) leads me to why I enjoyed today.

The Highway Department has an office based out of Kadoka, therefore the hi-po occassionally brings people in for breaking laws in my wonderful county. Today was one such day. I heard the Courthouse door open and, since I am finding it hard to concentrate today, I looked over. I found a sight that always makes my heart race a little--a person being brought in in handcuffs. Background: we have court-day every other Thursday and I have seen numerous people brought in not only in handcuffs, but in shackles and chains. So this was no uncommon occurence, but it still kinda freaks me out, because I have no real good way of escape if it comes down to it. Anyway, I saw this guy in handcuffs followed by his mother and what I assumed was a grandfather...or lawyer. I immediately turned down the volume on my iHome so I could hear what went down.

Okay...so it wasn't that exciting. The kid didn't have a driver's license and got pulled over for going 80 in a 65. But the part that got me was the mom's laid-back attitude towards the whole thing. She laughed throughout the time they spent filling out paperwork and, as she exited the Sheriff's Office, called "Have a great day" to the hi-po and deputy sheriff. I love when things go well at the Sheriff's Office. I also get a sick joy out of finding out why people get brought in. Crazy? Maybe...but Kadoka is a little slow-paced, so I gotta get entertainment where I can.

"It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it..."

...working 9 to 5."

Well, hopefully I get to keep doing so....

I don't know if you've heard or not, but the economy isn't doing so hot right now. Many companies are downsizing across the nation. Surprisingly, SoDak has felt the crunch too, though we were able to stave it off for a little while. Today, the governor's new budget proposal came out and it has my co-workers and I worried.

I work for Cooperative Extension which is part of the College of Ag. & Bio which is part of SDSU which is part of the Board of Regents. The BOR budget has been cut $5.5 million. Of that, Extension is being cut $1 million. That is almost 20% of that cut, which is a decent percentage in my mind.

The problem comes in that I am the 4th newest person to be hired state-wide and the 2nd newest in my specific position. I don't have much along the lines of seniority, and my area of the state is fairly well covered with youth development educators. $1 million is a lot of money and I think the only way to cut that amount is to cut people--but I certainly hope I am wrong. The BOR announced today that they are doing away with 5 positions in the area of accounting and are completely closing the School for the Deaf--that is a lot of jobs that just vanished.

So here, I am, worrying. Plus, the Post Office in Kadoka lost my student loan statement for the month, so I got a late fee. I am now officially upset.

"What are you doing the rest of your life..."

...the north and south and east and west of your life?"

Today? Not much it seems.

Repeat after me (ala Bambi in the "bir-dah, bird" scene): Bore-dah. Bore-dah. Bore-dah. Bored.

Yup, I am bored. I was planning on not being in the office today and tomorrow for a business trip, but it got postponed. I hadn't planned on doing anything these 2 days and had worked ahead earlier in the week to compensate for my absence. Now, I am here with very little to do. Today I have:
-ordered toys off of Amazon.com and bid on some more toys on ebay. I love my job in that I get to order toys.
-goofed off during an on-line teleconference. I know I learned something about the teenage brain, but I couldn't tell you what it was.
-sent numerous pointless and quasi-important emails. But nothing earth shattering, except for this one which was sent to everyone in Extension on my side of the state:

All,

Due to a series of unfortunate events, [coworker] and myself are mourning the abandonment of our county laptops in Brookings. What was supposed to be a short stint with Chuck to make sure that they worked appropriately and that we could function adequately with them has drastically turned into an extended layover with no escape for weeks to come.

So, we are inquiring if anyone is planning on going to Brookings in the near future and, if so, we would like to plead our case for you to graciously return said laptops to this side of the state. Thereafter, we can make further arrangements to pick them up. If you are making such a trip, please let [coworker] or myself know. We, and our laptops, would appreciate it.

Thanks again,
Jessica & [coworker]

I got a kick out of this, as did many of my fellow educators who informed me they couldn't pick up my computer, but that they liked the email regardless.

Now I think I am going to build a robot. I have nothing better to do, and it sounds like a good idea. Who doesn't build robots at work? Additionally, I haven't removed my Christmas mix off my iPod and it is not cool to be playing Christmas carols at the office in January.

"My mind is in a tailspin...

...so much frustration."

Big news: I just figured out how to answer the phone at my desk in my secondary office. Big news...big news.

I also love being the new kid that everyone gossips to. I like all of my coworkers, but they all have hidden (or not-so-hidden) animosity towards one another and tell me all about it. This is fine, but everyone tells me the exact opposite of what everyone else says. It really makes it hard for me to cast my own judgements. But at least it keeps me entertained.

Lastly, I found out this morning I am getting turned into my boss's boss's boss about discrimination against a family. WHAT?! To be completely honest, I have not yet directly dealt with a family, so I am interested to know how I am discriminating against anyone. I'm meeting with the family this afternoon--should be a riot.

Also, I am finding out that it is hard to integrate oneself into a small community. Its like I have the plague or something like that. Which reminds me of a talk I had with T about the plague and the fact that no one wants the plague. ha. Anyway, I am getting frustrated.

And now I have ranted. Whew. But I can still answer my phone!!